


I cannot run from my family

by zzhenykaa



Series: Trans Ranboo cause projecting, am I right??? [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enderman Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Physical Abuse, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Trans Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28738842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzhenykaa/pseuds/zzhenykaa
Summary: Ranboo's childhood still haunts him, but at least now he has someone there to help him through it.title from Runs In The Family by Amanda Palmer
Relationships: Ranboo & Technoblade, Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Trans Ranboo cause projecting, am I right??? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105154
Comments: 14
Kudos: 669





	1. hangin' out where i don't belong is nothing new to me

**Author's Note:**

> TW: child abuse, physical and emotional abuse, transphobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from I Cant Handle Change by ROAR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: child abuse, emotional and physical abuse, transphobia
> 
> please stay safe and drink some water! <3

Ranboo stared in the mirror as tears rolled down his eyes. 

Why was he like _this?_

Even though the door to his bathroom was locked tight, he could still hear his mother's yelling. He hated how she sounded when she yelled. She was usually so sweet, but after Ranboo told her his secret, she wasn't too happy with him. 

Its been about 3 weeks since Ranboo came out to his mom, and every single night after that evening, he has fallen asleep to the sounds of shouting and slurred insults directed at him. He really didn't expect his parents to have such a reaction to him being... well, being himself. He still remembers how about 2 days after his coming out his dad left him. 

'I don't want to live with a _freak,_ and if you still want to raise _this_ then so be it, but im not staying a single night in this house until _its_ gone' was how he put it. His mom wasn't too happy about that. The liquor cabinet has been emptying at a significantly faster rate after his dad started staying at the Inn on the other side of town.

Ranboo has learned that he should stay in his room from the time's of 6 pm and 9 am - that was when his mom was at home. That was when she was downstairs drinking. He learned that after a big bruise appeared on his leg after his mom dragged him up the stairs to his room and hit the door with it.

The 12 year old boy really didn't understand why they were so upset about him being a boy.

He was still himself... wasn't he? 

He was still their child.

Ranboo quickly brushed his teeth and went straight to bed, curling up in the covers and crying himself to sleep.

It was about 8:30 in the morning, when the enderman boy heard the creak of the stairs behind his closed bedroom door. He slightly shifted in his bed and hid under the covers. _Mom is going to work now,_ which meant that when he heard the house door close with a bang (like it usually did) he could go down and make himself some breakfast. Maybe he could even clean up the bottles and hope that mom wouldn't be as mad as she usually was. 

Then he heard it.

The creaks ended abruptly. 

His ears and tail twitched. 

_It usually took longer for the creaks to stop_ the boy took notice as he slightly lifted the covers to stare at the bottom of his bedroom door. He could see the shadow of his mom's feet from under his door.

_Why wasn't she leaving?_

The door suddenly opened and Ranboo didn't even have time to hide in his covers again as they were quickly ripped off of him.

He stared up at his mother in fear.

'I want you out of this house in 10 minutes, Robin,' a small bag was thrown at the boy and he quickly scrambled to catch it, his hands were shaking, ' _ **you**_ were the reason he left, you useless **_good-for-nothing_** , I don't want to look at your face ever again, you understand that?' it felt like his mom was spitting out venom at him as he stared up at her. She looked at the bruise covered boy with a face filled with disappointment and _disgust_. Without another word, she left the room and slammed the door shut.

The boy sat up and stared at his bedroom door.

She was just joking... _right?_

She still loved her child... **_right?_**

Silent tears rolled down his eyes as he stood up from his bed and quietly started dressing up and packing his belongings. The bag was filled with some of his clothes and a little bit of food and water. _At least she still cared._ He shoved his favorite wooden toy that his dad gave him when he was 6 years old into the bag, along with his toothbrush, hairbrush and other necessities. He took one final look around his room, wiped his tears and headed downstairs. 

Ranboo cringed at the sound of creaking beneath his feet. When he passed the kitchen, he gave his mom one final look of hope, _maybe she was just joking? This was just a joke? **Right?**_

Instead he was greeted with his mom's usual beautiful emerald eyes staring at him with such hatred and disgust, he shrunk in on himself and headed out of his home- _house._

He heard the door to his _house_ get slammed behind him as he stepped into the snow outside. A couple of snowflakes fell onto his nose, he winced slightly at the pain of the melted snowflake slowly dripping down his face.

\--------------------------------------------------

It had been 5 years since he left his family. Ranboo doesn't remember much about the last 3 weeks he spent with his mother, he only remembered how he would cry himself to sleep. He remembered how _scared_ he felt. Ranboo would sometimes get nightmares in which he would be back at that house. He would be running up the stairs as his mother yelled- or should he say slurred? -insults at him. And every time he would have a nightmare he would wake up and hide and shrink into the covers of his bed, because if he looked outside, if he looked behind the covers, _they would find him_. 

After all those years, Ranboo was still the same scared boy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy ill try and get the second chapter out today or maybe tomorrow  
> but I hope you enjoyed it thus far :)


	2. still lately i begin to shake, for no reason at all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: nightmares, panic/anxiety attack, mention of self harm, child abuse
> 
> Stay safe, guys, and drink some water! You deserve it <3
> 
> chapter title from I Cant Handle Change by ROAR

Ranboo had a nightmare again. 

He saw his dad leave again.

Ranboo sometimes wishes he could just forget everything. Because maybe forgetting everything will stop him from having those god awful nightmares.

The worst part about these nightmares is that they are real. The first part is that this isn't a trick of his imagination, this isn't some made up horror story his brain decides to show him every time he closes his eyes. Its a memory. Its a memory he wishes he could forget.

He doesn't want to so vividly relive one of the worst moments of his life, practically **every night.**

You'd think that because of the amount of times he has had this nightmare, he'd become desensitized. But no. It hurts just as much as it did the first time he heard those **awful** words directed to him.

Some nights he'd wake up and cry himself to sleep like he did oh so many years ago.

Some nights he'd scratch himself until his skin oozes purple blood and he cant feel his limbs anymore.

But this night was different.

He didn't wake up to the cold air of his room, to the suffocating blanket over him. He was woken up by two arms shaking him awake and a pair of red eyes filled with concern staring at him.

'Ranboo, Ranboo, wake up' Techno's concerned voice shook him awake as he gasped for air and felt the painful sting of tears slipping down his cheeks. The enderman hybrid stared at Technoblade as he took shaky breaths in and out until said piglin hybrid enveloped the other in a hug. Ranboo sobbed into Technoblade's shoulder as the other patiently rubbed the younger boy's back.

After what seemed like an eternity for Ranboo but was closer to 5 minutes, the enderman hybrid calmed down enough to speak. He was still slightly shaking, but is breathing was becoming more and more stable, so Ranboo detached himself from Techno's shoulder and looked down at his hands.

'Nightmare?' Technoblade asked the younger, who just nodded in response, 'wanna talk about it?' 

Ranboo took a slowly breath in and exhaled, 'I just- I wasn't always an orphan, Techno' the enderman looked up at the Blood God who simply nodded, urging him to continue 'lets just say, my family never really liked the fact that I was a boy' Ranboo looked down at his hands as he felt another tear form in his eyes and the edges of his mouth slowly morphing into a frown, after a moment of silence, he continued 'I- I keep having this nightmare, and in it im just reliving what umm.. what happened' Ranboo's voice started to slightly shake 'its this one specific moment, one specific memory that haunts me' he took a deep breath in, 'when my dad left.'

Silence.

Ranboo felt Technoblade squeeze his shoulders. Ranboo smiled a bittersweet smile, still not looking up from his fidgeting hands.

'He, ummm, he called me a freak. And I- and I- to this day see how his face was filled with so much disappointment and... disgust.' Ranboo winced, those words tasted so gross and filthy coming from his mouth 'My mom- my mother made me leave. She- she said its my fault he left.' a sob broke out form the boy's lips.

Technoblade enveloped the smaller boy in a tight and warm embrace, the other instantly breaking out into more sobs.

'I just- It is my fault, isn't it? If I- If I wasn't born like **this,** maybe they'd still love me' more and more tears slipped down his cheeks, they burnt him, but he no longer felt the pain.

'Ranboo, I want you to know that you are perfect just the way you are. Its not your fault they don't understand you. You- you don't need love from people who aren't willing to love you for who you are.' Technoblade softly spoke, rocking the boy and rubbing gentle circles into his back, 'Phil, everyone else and I love you for who you are. I just- I want you to know that we love you.'

The two hybrids sat together, hugging and rocking each other through the night.

Ranboo found his home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this fic <333


End file.
